


What is Needed

by Immicolia



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Hand Jobs, M/M, Oral Sex, Self-cest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-20
Updated: 2011-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-27 15:03:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/297122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Immicolia/pseuds/Immicolia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even when the worst of the darkness has been faced down and accepted, there are still things that will always be hard to admit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What is Needed

**Author's Note:**

> Set during July because, honestly, that's as far as I currently am in the game and it seems like a good enough time as any to set things.

The days are long and far too hot and although they are making a careful sort of progress through that screwed up pseudo-game that came out of Mitsuo's head Yosuke still feels an odd sort of twitching uneasiness that has little to do with hunting a killer through a foggy supernatural world. A lurch and twitch low in his belly alongside the sensation of eyes on him while he walks. He almost asks once if anyone else feels it too but something makes the words dry up in his throat.

It's a particularly sweltering evening in mid-July when that skin-crawling sensation follows him home, leaving him antsy and irritable and it's late when he blurts, "Hey, Ted, I've been thinking...." without any real thought at all.

"Do you think it's possible -- I mean, now that you're out in our world and all -- to go in through another TV and set up a second entrance? And then find our way to the Junes entrance from there?"

"I- I guess it could be. But why would you want to?"

Yosuke hesitates for a moment, still not precisely sure why he suggested it, but the more the idea solidifies in his brain the more he likes it. The more he knows he wants (has) to try this. "Let's just call it a... contingency plan. Like if we _need_ to get into the TV somehow but we can't get at the entrance in the electronics department. And my family has a TV set almost as big as some of the ones at Junes...." He forces his mouth shut a little bit awkwardly, becoming aware of the fact that he's rambling and Teddie is frowning at him just a little. Not that the frown lasts.

"That's a good idea. We should tell Sensei and the others...."

"How's about we try it out first." The words come out in a thoughtless rush. "I- I mean all we have to do is hop downstairs to the living room. We can pop in, set up an exit, and if it's too dangerous to see if we can find the other entrance on our own, _then_ we can all go together tomorrow."

"I... guess that sounds like a good idea."

"Great. C'mon."

It's a little more awkward than slipping through the big screen at Junes but they make it through easily and even the path through the twisting catwalks and fog to their regular entrance is simple enough to find. Yosuke ignoring the jumpy little flips his stomach makes with every step until they're back in his bedroom.

Even then he can't quite sleep.

The next day Teddie enthusiastically tells the others about their late night adventure and Yosuke wishes he'd told the dumb bear to keep his trap shut about it. Except it would be strange to keep it secret; he doesn't need a private entrance to the TV world, even if the secrecy would mean that Chie wouldn't be questioning his intelligence right now.

"You could have _died_ in there without backup. Honestly, what is wrong with you two?"

"We were _fine_. It's done now anyway so can we drop it? I just thought it would be helpful."

"It is. But you really shouldn't have risked yourself." Souji is as calm and reasonable as ever, and for some reason that grates at Yosuke even more than Chie's badgering.

" _FINE_! I'm a moron and I lead Teddie astray. Can we move on _now_? Are we gonna keep heading after that psycho today or just do our own thing?"

It's too hot. Even inside the TV the fog seems less clammy like it should and more like that awful humid steam from that bathhouse Kanji dreamed up and when he finally staggers home Yosuke is wrung out and exhausted with a headache drumming behind his eyes. Not even bothering with dinner before collapsing into bed.

When he wakes again it's late and his stomach is churning with hunger too much to ignore. Yosuke slips out of bed, intent on raiding the fridge without waking his parents... or Teddie for that matter. The downstairs dark and peaceful and he curls up with some leftover takeout.

As quiet as things are Yosuke still feels uneasy, that crawling twitch-flip still rattling his insides to the point where he starts to feel ill. His eyes reflexively flick towards the television looming in the corner, a matte black monolith that almost seems to be waiting for something.

It's stupid and dangerous, Chie's voice ringing, "You could have _died_ ," somewhere in the back of his skull. But even still he slides his arm though the screen, his breath catching a little like always at that odd crackling resistance that prickles along his skin like static.

Then he's through, the fog settling over him in a wet, muggy, blanket.

He doesn't have his glasses with him.

"Fuck."

Yosuke staggers back a step, squinting into the swirling dark around him and fighting down the urge to panic. All he has to do is find his way to the exit that Teddie set up. It can't be too far, it never is, he's positive it isn't. And the Shadows don't lurk too closely to the entrances anyway, even if he can hear them scrabbling and whispering somewhere just out of sight.

It's all bringing his headache back with a vengeance.

Ever so carefully he begins to inch his way around in a small circle, groping blindly for the stack of TVs that Teddie set up and trying not to think. His mind hissing that maybe, just maybe, it's this world itself that's trying to kill people. Why else did he feel so damn compelled to...?

Except that's not right, he knows otherwise. There's someone tossing people in, they're hot on the asshole's heels even. Yosuke was simply overtired and did something certifiably stupid. There is nothing sinister to be found in that.

His breathing is reduced to panicked little gasps and he's almost on his hands and knees while he carefully feels around for even the slightest hint of the exit. Struggling to keep calm and he reminds himself over and over again of everything that he's learned about this world so far. As long as the fog is around Shadows only attack if you're aware of them, if you interfere with them. And there's no chance of the fog lifting here for a while. He may be blind and helpless right now, but that might be just what will keep him safe.

 _"Still looking for fun in all the wrong places...?"_

That voice sends his heart skittering somewhere up into his throat in a stuttering kind of rush. It shouldn't be. There shouldn't be a pair of yellow eyes winking out of the dark at him like some goddamn oversized cat.

"I- I accepted you. I know what you are. I'm fine with that." His voice cracks a little somewhere in the middle of that statement and out in the shifting fog he catches a glimpse of his own face, features all twisted up in a viciously amused smile.

 _"Are you **really** now? There's **always** things you'd rather deny, even if you think you're fine with the worst of it. You're tangled up and confused. It's why you're here all alone. Or maybe you just want a cheap thrill. After all, this whole mess is almost **all** taken care of. Then what will you do? Back to the same ol' same ol' I guess...."_

"That doesn't matter as long as this ends. It has to end."

 _"But you'll miss it."_

"M- maybe."

It smiles, all sharp and cruel and Yosuke tilts his chin up slightly. He can't lie to it after all. There's no sense in trying. "Fine. I'll miss some things. I'm worried about how close we'll all stay if we're not working on this together. You know all of this. I don't need to tell you any of it. Why are you here?"

 _"I'm here because you are. You wanted excitement. You wanted a risk. You wanted to **feel** as much as possible while you still had the chance. Before everything goes back to the same boring horseshit as before and everyone walks off in their separate directions, leaving you all alone in the crowd again."_

"You know all that, huh?"

 _"What I really know is that I'm the only one you have."_

It's close enough that Yosuke can feel its breath on his neck, warm and damp as the fog around them. All sharp, cutting, smile and unearthly eyes. Lips right next to his ear and its voice lowers to a purring whisper.

 _"I'm all you have."_

It's not entirely true, but then that's just for now. Who's to say how long things will last. Everything ends. A little less than a year and Souji will leave. The case will hopefully be wrapped up soon enough leaving them no reason to head into the TV. Teddie, as annoying as he can be sometimes, will probably go back to where he belongs. It's impossible to guess how long a guy like Kanji will hang out with them after everything is said and done. Rise's famous so she'll leave sooner than later. Chie and Yukiko will always be friends with each other but he....

"People move on."

Yosuke can't quite tell which one of them says it, maybe they both do. His Shadow wrapped around him like a second skin now. Cat-yellow eyes glinting in the dark just a few inches from his face and when it leans in to bite his lip he wants to pull back. Shove it away and deny it (except he knows what happens when you deny your other self in here and right now there's no one around to save him, but mostly he's learned well enough that his Shadow doesn't do or say anything he doesn't actually feel.)

He still feels that strange, fidgety, breathlessness that has been dogging him for days now and isn't quite sure where to put his hands or how to move. Instead Yosuke sits almost passively, half-huddled on the ground, while his Shadow licks and bites at his lips and taunts him for sitting so still.

 _"Don't be so fucking boring. Loosen up. Open your mouth. Hell, open your legs too. I'll peel those pyjama pants off you and make you scream."_

Yosuke gasps reflexively when its fingers (so strangely cool when everything else seems so goddamn overheated right now) skim across his abdomen, toying just at the edge of his pyjamas. His Shadow takes a gleeful sort of advantage of his surprise, all those viciously teasing little bites and licks giving way to a kiss that is deep and eager and leaves Yosuke sprawled on his back, unsure of what to think.

"I'm not...." The protest is an instinctive thing, an absent mumble made once his Shadow pauses long enough to let them both up for air and the response is a sharp burst of laughter.

 _"You are. I know you are. Would I be doing this otherwise?"_

Yosuke gives another sort of half-mumble of protest but his heart isn't quite in it. His heart is too busy trying to pound a hole through his chest as his Shadow's fingers dance ever lower and slip inside his pants. Its long fingers wrapping around his cock and it whispers, _"All we've ever wanted is fun. May as well make our own."_

The only response Yosuke can manage at this point is a ragged sort of moan. His movements all sluggish (and he swears his head is nearly as foggy as their surroundings) even while his nerve endings seem to spark with every touch of skin on skin.

It's a strangely twisted fucked up kind of mess and he _wants_ it. Wants to feel all thick and heavy and desperate, pulled tight like a bowstring and ready to snap. Wants a hand on his dick, stroking just right, and teeth scraping at his shoulder and a voice whispering in the dark all harsh and hungry about what a needy little whore he is (even if that hand and those teeth and that voice are sort of his own.)

 _"Aw, stop lying there like a dead fish. You're into it. Let me know you're into it. You wanna be fucked, don't you?"_

Yosuke opens his mouth to reply, something along the lines of "oh fuck yes, give it to me" but the words get caught somewhere along the way. Any even remotely coherent statement he might have made transforming into an awkward, creaky, sort of groan as that hand on his cock speeds up for a moment before slowing down again in a maddening rhythm that drags him closer and closer to losing it.

 _"If I'm boring you I can stop."_

"Nnnngh...."

 _"What was that?_

"N- no. Don't. Don't stop. Don't... oh fuck...."

He's right on the edge when it _does_ stop and a strangled, needy, whine tears its way out of his throat while his Shadow laughs at his dismay and licks at the bit of precum that's leaked onto his hand. _"You think I'm just going to give you a handjob and send you on your way? What fun is that for me?"_

There's a bit of awkward twisting as bodies untangle just long enough for clothing to be shed. His Shadow's thumb sliding roughly along the edge of his jaw followed by a hiss of, _"open up,"_ and Yosuke can't help but obey. His entire posture screaming "use me, use me, use me" over and over again and his Shadow is more than willing to comply. Cock sliding between his lips too deep, too fast and he can't stop the half-strangled sound that escapes his throat. The fingers that immediately tangle in his hair stopping him from pulling away, from being able to breathe properly, and Yosuke can't help but feel a brief beat of panic. He's trapped and being held steady, his jaw starting to ache a little from being held open so awkwardly and he knows he's going to start choking in a minute if he has to stay like this much longer.

 _"You're... you're fucking terrible at... at sucking cock."_

It's strange to think about Shadows being short of breath, of them breathing at all, but his is. Gasping and panting and tightening its fingers in Yosuke's hair. Forcing his head to move this way and that while its hips twitch and thrust and Yosuke groans around the dick that is nearly choking him. His own fingers curling tight into his Shadow's thighs, tight enough to bruise maybe (do Shadows even bruise?)

It growls, all low and hungry, and gives Yosuke's hair one last vicious tug before it lets itself go. Its voice dark and dangerous when it hisses at him to swallow and Yosuke can't do anything but comply. His breath coming in harsh little gasps once its finally moved away (cock sliding from between his lips with a damp little popping sound) and he's so damn hard he's positive that he'll come the instant his dick even gets looked at, let alone touched.

His Shadow just flashes another of those too sharp grins (although this one wobbles a little at the edge) and moves in to press a biting kiss against Yosuke's lips. Its tongue slips into his mouth to taste and one of its hands wraps around his cock again, causing a keening moan to claw its way out of Yosuke's throat. He won't last long, he can't. He's too hot, too tense, too... _everything_ and that horrible flip-twitch that has been haunting him for days is nothing more than a needy thrum low in his belly now. Something that coils up tighter and tighter with every deft movement of his Shadow's hand, his hips moving of their own volition and he thrusts up into every motion eagerly.

His whole body arches when he comes. Sobbing and screaming, his fingers scrabbling at the ground beneath him. And when he finally catches his breath enough to focus on the world around him again it's to the sight of his Shadow watching him. Looking far too pleased with itself while it licks his come from its fingers and with those yellow-gold eyes Yosuke is once again reminded far too much of a cat. Something sleek and lazy and overly satisfied with itself.

 _"This is what we needed,"_ it says after a moment. _"I'll always know what we need most. What you won't admit we need."_

Yosuke gives a shaky nod in response. Somehow managing to catch his tongue enough to croak out, "I- I need to get back. The- the exit...?"

 _"Behind you. By about five feet."_ It falls silent for a moment, studying Yosuke quietly before continuing. _"You'll come back?"_

"When am I not crawling around in this world? We have a killer to catch."

 _"Alone,"_ it amends quickly, and Yosuke hesitates. Bites his lip.

"I- don't know yet."

He knows it's not the answer that was wanted, but then he also knows that he's lying.

They both do. You can't lie to your Shadow.


End file.
